“Step right on up!” the showman brayed
His stomach oozed, his mouth – it sprayed
– “Come sell my worthless sh*t.” –
“A pyramid scheme, it’s worked before.
Let’s resurrect this lawless score!”
– “Sell undesired gifts!” –
“There’s prizes?!” asks a youth’s delight,
Who’s never heard of children’s rights.
– “I’ll sell your worthless sh*t” –
A will-full laborer is he
Whose youth earns cash for company
– “To whom shall I sell it?” –
“To friends and family, strangers too
At church, at home, or in the zoo
– And please now, don’t forget –
Sell out your close. Forget not far.
If one can’t reach them in a car
– We’ll mail ’em our full kit! –
So hurry children, sell the pitch.
That makes us sound a bit less sketch.
– Profit, prophet, profit!” –
‘Tis the season for fundraisers. :)
NB: I couldn’t find the video used to rile the kids up on YouTube (no surprise), but I did find this video showing some of their possible monkey prizes. The original had clips from the sound-tracks of about 20 well known pieces (Spiderman theme song, Bob Marley, Batman, etc.) accompanying low-quality animation of the monkeys moving about various landscapes. Also of note (though not as proximally linked), the school played “the Candyman can” over the speakers in-between classes after having introduced the speaker as “Candyman George”.#HAPPYGOODTIMESINDOCTRINATION/PROPAGANDA/COPYRIGHTINFRINGEMENT